so my friend told me....

SA: you know I learn a lot about you from your pictures than talking to you

erni_salsabila: rlly?
erni_salsabila: how?
erni_salsabila: so wht did u learn?

SA: well...i should say
SA: because not everything is true always
SA: you know
SA: like when i looked at your picture on myspace
SA: i was sure you were
SA: trying to get the angle of the camera right

erni_salsabila: uhuh..and then?

SA: that made me understand

erni_salsabila: that?

SA: at that time you were a Girl dreaming about someone to be with
SA: but its natural
SA: we all have wishes

erni_salsabila: that time?

SA: well...

erni_salsabila: i was trying to get it at right angle

SA: you were more hapy with your friends

erni_salsabila: yes but skool n college frens
erni_salsabila: not university friends

SA: yes

erni_salsabila: i dont think i've been happy here

SA: i know Erni....

erni_salsabila: never
erni_salsabila: its d worse

SA: in univ. mostly your pics are simple
SA: and you are alone in them

So i just realised...never knew it was obvious to some that i'm lonely...T_T

mimpi

Kawan...tahu tak aku mimpikan siapa?
KITA
Yup, aku mimpikan kita....hehe

Best sangat...kita sama-sama lari nak kejar waktu tengok wayang...hehe
Best sangat kita gelak sama-sama...hee....sangat bahagia

Tapi, kenapa dalam mimpi je...hmm
Kenapa sekarang kita tak boleh jadi macam dulu?

Dulu kita sama-sama mengadu nasib, kenapa sekarang dah tak?

Mungkin sebab kau dah lebih kenal aku dan tahu kekurangan aku?
Tapi kawanku, kau pon ada kekurangan...dan of course aku pon not perfect....

Sorry kalau aku bukan kawan yang kau cari selama ni..

Tak sangka, kita lebih elok berjauhan...this fact hurts...I MISS "US"

I'm trying

I can't stand it actually...do i not exist? am i a sound machine that's supposed to hear your every slamming? And am i just a non-living that deserves none of ur attention?

to Yatimah, other mrsmbpj frens and KMJ frens

It's really tough for me to undergo the transition from semi-city life to an urban life. Culture shock? Sure. Nothing's the same anymore after migrating to Malaysia, though I'm not much of a city prat. haha

It's great having friends at mrsm bpj. Everyone so close to each other (though among those of same age only) and so understanding. Yet, they still have the space to despise me. Hmm...maybe I exaggerated the "skema" disease? Well, that's just first impression though. You never knew me well, except for some. Less than some is more accurate I think. Hated, isolated, despised, insulted, all in a go, isn't that harsh? And on what stand do you have to be against me? Opps, this kinda power-hungry trash that caused all of this.

Just be yourself. Hmm......it's like silly when i think about it.....being me makes me so repulsive. You hated me anyway.

Somehow there are those who stood by me. Still seeing me through all these rubbish, though from afar. Up till now, I'm facing transitions continuously.

Do you think changing stream is easy? Sure I can take the challenge to catch up with you guys in studies. But I can't fit in your group. Duh!!! A group???!! I thought we are facing this together? What makes you avoid my presence? Like I'm something disgusting or embarrassing? Ahh...I know...I'm an embarrassment to you...(^_^)

It's funny how you're curious about me being alone...hehe....do you know I'm forced to be likewise? I want company too. Didn't I give my best to befriend you? What exactly is the problem? Like, why am I not in the list to be involved with you people? Do you expect me to poke my nose ALL the time? T_T

It's weird how great distance brings people together...being near just nurture the hatred. Why? Why didn't you rely on me like before? And why can't I do so too? Why is it you are so rebellious?

In the end, only school and college friends can bring back my smile...T_T